Obama Forwards - Monday, January 18, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010

Subject: FW: Quote of the year ...

This has got to be the best quote of the year

"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given
the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his
name, but that America gave him the White House based on
the same credentials."

**Newt Gingrich**

Newt Gingrich | nobel peace prize

Monday, January 18, 2010 8:48:23 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Disclaimer | Comments [0] |

Kittens

Subject: FW: Kittens

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there, little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Obama.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day, and, in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS" when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But... but... yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."

joke

Monday, January 18, 2010 6:56:02 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Disclaimer | Comments [0] |

What is this old tool??

Subject: FW: What is this old tool??

A Strange Old Tool . . .. .

Do you know what it is?

This Old Tool has been reintroduced in Washington D.C. by the Obama Administration.

Are you starting to feel it yet?

Tobacco Smoke Enema (1750s-1810s)
The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blow smoke up one's ass."

picture

Monday, January 18, 2010 6:54:21 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Disclaimer | Comments [0] |

Friday, January 15, 2010

Obama and the call girl!

Subject: FW: Obama and the call girl!

Barack Hussein Obama was looking for a call girl.

He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

To the blonde he said, 'I am the President of the United States. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'

She replied, $200.

To the brunette he asked the same question.

Her reply was $100.

He then asked the redhead...

Her reply was, 'Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, My pants as low as my wages, Get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in,
And keep it rising like the price of gas, Keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and Screw me the way you have retirees, and our Veterans Then it isn't going to cost you a friggin' damn cent!

economy | joke

Friday, January 15, 2010 11:43:37 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Disclaimer | Comments [0] |

Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir.

Subject: FW: Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir.

Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . ..

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering, Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says, boy, she wishes she had digs like this, you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow!

I saw something like that in a museum once.

Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track.

So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so....

Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. I'll just read it to you.

Could you please help me find these things, Sir?

1. Occidental College records -- Not released

2. Columbia College records -- Not released

3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"

4. Harvard College records -- Not released

5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released

6. Medical records -- Not released

7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available

8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available

9.. Law practice client list -- Not released

10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released

11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released

12. Record of your baptism -- Not available

13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?_

14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one?

15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student?

16. Which countries "passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981?

Oh and one more thing Mr.. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir?

Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. . ...

What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?

We the People of the United States of America! You know, the ones that vote.

SEND THIS OUT TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS......

I (WE) WANT TO KNOW

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

Ronald Reagan

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
-Thomas Jefferson.

Reminder: Don't forget to pay your taxes...12 million
illegal aliens are depending on you.